Kids Say the Darndest Things

*Thunder*

Nate (Juliet’s  friend):  Doesn’t thunder sound like Voldemort talking?

Juliet: I wish everything in the world was beautiful. I wish everything in the world was pink.

Juliet (looking through a picture book of the ABC’s): I is for Ice Cream, J is is Jelly bean, L is for Tiger

Juliet: soooo what do you want to talk about?

Me: I don’t know,  what would you like to talk about?

Juliet: hmmmm what about poop coming out of our bodies?

Me: How about rainbows?

Juliet: OK!

Nate: Imagine if rain had feet

Me: So when it fell to the ground would it walk away?

Nate: yep!

Me: Where would it go?

Nate: Africa.

Nanny Nightmare

I have now been watching Juliet for 4 weeks, and so far it’s been smooth sailing.  Juliet has been listening to me, doesn’t complain, doesn’t run off, and as of today has never even cried!  While I knew this couldn’t last forever, I could not possible have been prepared for what I was about to experience, a public tenter tantrum.

We’ve all been the spectators of these humiliating experiences. Maybe you’re walking down isle 9 in the super market and there’s a child screaming at his mom that he wants to buy every candy bar on the shelf.  You walk past, trying not to stare, and think “that sucks”, but what you should be thinking is “what am I going to do when that happens to me!” because let me tell you one day it will and it is as awful and embarrassing as it looks.

There we were sitting on the corner of 76^th and Amsterdam, enjoying our ice cream we had just gotten from 16 handles. We had had a long day but still had one more thing on our agenda, art class. When Juliet was done with her ice cream I stood up and said “ok let’s start heading over to art class.” When Juliet said “no, I want to go home.” I looked at her confused, and said “what do you mean, you love art class! We’re going to be late so let’s start walking over.” Next thing I know she’s crying and jumping and screaming. Obviously at this point all I wanted to do was take her home in order to have all the people stop staring at me like I was a kidnapping this child. However while that was what I wanted to do I also didn’t want to reward such outrageous behavior by giving her what she wanted; one of my many parenting tips I’ve picked up.  All I could think of was to sit and try and wait for her to calm down. I wasn’t about to start yelling at her in the middle of the street, and she was acting like a crazy person so I couldn’t talk to her.  To make a long story short, she never calmed down, I had to call her mom, and ended up taking her home.

So next time you see a mother/father/babysitter dealing with an unreasonable screaming child in a public space know that it is as embarrassing at it looks, and that one day it will probably be you, so have some empathy 

Nanny Diaries: Entry 1

So I have been working as a nanny on the upper west side of Manhattan for several weeks now. The Job I accepted is with a nice family with two children: Juliet who is 4, and Matthew who is 6. While this is absolutely not what I saw myself doing, or rather want to be doing, the job has worked out quite nicely and will be over in September.  

Juliet and Matthew

Thus far Matthew has had camp so I have only had Juliet. She has taken a while to warm up to me but her and I are getting along just fine. She’s funny, extremely easy going, and loves to read.  Our days consist of play dates, hours at the parks, and various classes like swimming, gymnastics, yoga, and art. They live right off the park near all the museums so it is an ideal location for optimal entertainment. 

My eye is still recovering, however I am fully functional and for the most part I am not bothered by it. The only time that I have difficulty is in the light, and then I just put on my very fashionable geriatric sunglasses. They were given to me by my doctors and they fit over my glasses and wrap around my head. They are quite ridiculous, but obviously I can pull them off.  

It’s frustrating when people are constantly asking me how I am doing because I know they want me to say “I’m doing a lot better thank you, my eye is fully healed and my life is back on track!” and all I want to say to them is if that’s the answer you’re looking for then don’t bother asking. But honestly who would be ok after something like this. In a matter of 3 days I, 1.went blind 2.was taken away from my new home without so much as being able to say goodbye 3.Lost the only thing I’ve ever worked for, aka the Peace Corps 4.and am now a nanny working for the complete opposite demographic. How the fuck would you be doing? And while this might sound like I’m looking for a pitty party, that is not it at all. I want people to be able to laugh about it, because I really just want this whole situation to be behind me and be a funny story, because really my life sounds like the punch line to a bad joke

I don’t know how long it’s supposed to take for one to get over something like this, and while my intension is still to try to go get medically cleared to go back to the peace corps, I go back and forth about whether it is still the right thing to do at this point, or if it’s just the only plan I’ve ever had and I’m too scared to start over and come up with a new one.

While it is my intension to go back to the Peace Corps, I’m not an idiot and want to have all my bases covered. I’ve applied to a few jobs in the fall, all abroad and several of which are seasonal which would enable me to have something to do during these next few months but not close the doors on going back to the Peace Corps if that is really want I want to do.