Pema Lama

Yesterday a young boy died in our village. His name was Pema Lama. He was 12 years old. Words cannot describe the sadness that has swept over our home and the village. He was a sweet, affectionate boy that we had all come to know and love.  We met him several months ago when doing a door to door survey. We met his grandmother, who is a generous and loving woman. As she told us the story of her grandson, it was hard to not sympathize with his situation. He was abandoned by both of his parents when he was only 10 months old. Both his parents remarried and began new families, neither of which included him. He would go to his neighbors and ask them where his mother was, and they would respond with silence, uncomfortable with the question knowing no good could come from the answer. While he was 12 years old, he was only in second grade. He faced difficulty in school and had been unable to move ahead in his studies. But he was blessed with the love of his two grandparents who had raised him as their own.

            As we continued our visits in the village, Pema decided to tag along. As I sat and listened to the woman speak, not knowing what was going on, I was distracted by Pema’s desire to play with me. As the Nepali volunteers continued the interview I played thumb war and rock, paper, scissors, with Pema. It was clear he was desperate for attention, but with his huge vibrant smile, it was hard not to give it to him.

            Earlier today I was told that a 6 year old boy had died by accident eating poison of some kind.  While the news was upsetting the story was incomplete so it as hard to fully comprehend the situation. That afternoon the information changed. I was now told that it was a 6^th grader who had died and that is had been a suicide. Immediately I thought of all the children in my youth group.  But we were still not provided with a name nor were we sure that this information was more accurate then the previous. When we reached the school to meet with our youth group we learned the truth behind the mysterious rumors. That it was Pema Lama. We learned that he had eaten rat poison that had been bought several days prior. Whether it was a suicide or a mistake, no one was sure. The teachers informed us that the school would be closed the following day in order to give the children a day to mourn and have an opportunity to go to the burning ceremony.

            Today we spent the day at Pema's house observing the death ceremony. While the ceremony was sad and painful to go to, it was also beautiful. When we arrived at the grandmothers house the ceremony had already begun. The body lay inside the house where the Buddhist monks chanted and prayed. I couldn’t bring myself to go inside and see the body. The idea of seeing a 12 year old boy lying dead on the floor was to much to bare.  While I sat outside with the rest of the mourners I noticed the big shrine like structure that sat in the center. It looked like a small house draped in flowers.  Soon after arriving the monks came out of the house with Pema’s body wrapped in a white sheet. They circled around the small house several times before placing the body in the structure itself. As they circled around the structure the grandmother went into a sort of fit. She was hysterical and flailing her arms. It was impossible not to feel her pain. Her tantrum became so extreme that she fainted. While the women gathered around her to carry her inside, the ceremony continued without missing a beat. 

While you could not see the body, you could tell that it was folded in half so that it was sitting in the structure upright. Once the body was in place the monks surrounded the structure drumming on their instruments and singing their chants. This went on for over an hour. It is believed that at the end of this ceremony that the spirit is released into heaven, and therefore the body is now empty.

            Suddenly the community brought out a long thin white sheet. The sheet was tied to the bottom of the structure and then one by one women began taking the sheet in a long trail in front of the body. The sheet was at least 100 meters long with the entire community underneath raising the long white trail above their heads. The small house followed the white sheet being carried by for men. The long line of people walked up the mountain to center of town. Here is where the body was burned.  

            When we had returned from the ceremony an ease had come over us. While it had been a painful day, the ceremony truly allowed people to get closure and say goodbye. We spent the rest of the afternoon cooking a beautiful meal together and telling our personal stories about Pema.

He was a beautiful boy, and he will be remembered.

           

Dance Monkey Dance

You know that dream people have when they are standing in front of a big group of people for one reason or another when all of sudden they realize they are naked and everyone starts pointing and laughing? Well this is the dream I have everyday, except that it is not a dream and I’m not naked. I am however constantly being stared and laughed at. Why you ask? For anything and everything. Whether it’s because of the way I look, the way I dress, the way I cook, the way I talk, everything I do is funny to the Nepali people. Today it was how I did my laundry.

            In the Village where I live there is a communal tap, or the local watering hole if you will, where everyone goes to wash. Whether it’s wash their clothes, their dishes, or themselves this is where it happens. I’ve learned that there are particular times of day to avoid using the tap, for instance in the morning before school because it is when all the kids shower. I do this, one, because I will have to wait on a huge line and, two, because  it sets me up to be the local entertainment. However today I had no other choice but to face this nightmare. Seeing that it is a Monday in the middle of the afternoon I expected to have the tap all to myself to do my laundry. To my surprise it was completely over crowded. Generally I would have turned around and waited for another day however I was out of underwear so this was laundry 911. Therefore I prepared myself for the circus ring, however instead of sitting silently in the audience enjoying the show, I would be the big goofy clown with the big nose and oversize shows standing front and center.

As I approached the women the greeting ritual began:

“Nameste”

“Nameste”

“Nameste”

 “Nameste”

“Nameste”

“Nameste”

I then looked around for a place to sit until it would be my turn. This is also a confusing system that I have not figured out. It appears that it is a first come first serve type of system however certain things trump others. For instance if I am in the middle of doing my laundry and someone comes and wants to fill their water tanks to bring back to their house then they are allowed to cut me.  It can take up to 5 minutes to fill one of these tanks, so if 5 women come while you are doing laundry then you can end up waiting half an hour even though technically you were there first.  

Eventually I saw an opening to throw my clothes under the water. I washed out my bucket and began filling it with soapy water so I would be able to my washing off to the side. As I moved out the way, the woman were all staring at me with my bucket. As I moved off to the side to begin washing the clothes the woman waited for me to begin. As I started they were all hypnotized as if I was mystical creature, however soon enough their silence turned to laughter, the show had begun. Each of them took turns coming over and demonstrating the “right” way to wash clothing. I attempt to copy what they are doing however clearly I am not copying them well enough because they continue to laugh. I think to myself, “this must be what I dog feels like when it is getting trained. And most likely a stupid dog.” As they got bored with my incompetence they began talking amongst themselves.  However the show was not over yet. When I returned to the running water to rinse out my clothes women kept coming up behind me and putting their bottles under the tap to fill while simultaneously spraying water all of me. This got the crowd roaring. I am trying to laugh along hoping that they are doing this by mistake and that we are all laughing together about the misfortune of me getting sprayed with water, but my instinct is saying that this is not the case. As I made my way back down to the house I continue to debate with myself about the intensions behind their laughter.

Washing My Hair

            I do not think they are meaning to embarrass me or make me feel uncomfortable. I am just like no one they have ever seen before. Almost like an exotic zoo animal. I am the first white person some of these people have ever met. That means up until now they have never met anyone who looks different from themselves it really forces me to reflect on where I come from and all the places I have been and how rare it is to find a heterogeneous living environment. We have all heard America’s nick name “the melting pot” but I am only now realizing how special and unique that type of environment is.  While living in Europe this fact was less obvious to me, because while each country was relatively homogeneous (aka Germans in Germany, Romanians in Romania) they all looked somewhat like me (aka Caucasian). However these past few years when I have lived in Grenada, China and Nepal, I am constantly surrounded by people who look nothing like me, which makes it all the more obvious that I am the outsider.

            Now I am the first person to complain about New York City. It’s to expensive, to crowded, to cold, to busy, to lonely, etc. But when it comes to it’s diversity, it’s culture, and it’s vibrancy, it definitely has to be one of the most amazing cities in the world. No one stands out because no one looks a like. While walking through the streets you are have every right to be there. No ones an insider and no one’s an outsider, each person is their own. While it is not the city for me, sometimes you have to admit the ability to blend in and be invisible can be gift.

In the Land of the Youth

When we first arrived in the village of Dahu we were given the task of starting a youth group. However it was unclear to us exactly how we were going to manage to do this. How could I convince the youth in this village that we had something to offer them and that it was worth their time to show up every week? However only 3 months later I am witnessing the youth gathering on their own time to practice a cultural performance for the festival of Loshar. However, before we get to that, lets me start from the beginning.

            Creating our youth groups has been no easy task. It has taken time and patience, which at times we had limited of both. We began by slowly meeting the youth and gathering them to play various games. After weeks of observation and establishing ourselves within the community as the youth development volunteers, we began setting specific times for the youth to meet us. Our first challenge was to find a space to meet. We found ourselves meeting at the community tap, however so many youths were coming to participate that there wasn’t enough space. One week we met on an empty plot we believed to be available, however half way through the activity we were chased off by a local farmer screaming at us to get off his land! After weeks of frustration we were finally granted permission to use a school building that was no longer being used. This would be our community center! It was really important to us to establish this as a place where the community could gather and eventually become their central meeting spot.

            Our first step towards doing this was by requesting permission to set up a volleyball net. During our time here it has become clear that the youth love volleyball! We believed that by bringing a volleyball net to the community center we would not only help our future goal of making this the official gathering place but also show that we have been paying attention to their wants and interests. This would then demonstrate to our youth that we are here first and foremost for them.          

All of this hard work has come together this week while watching the youth prepare a culture show for the upcoming festival of Loshar. Everyday after school the youth have been gathering at the community center to plan and practice for their performance. When we arrived we were amazed to see the amount of teamwork and collaboration that was happening. To our left we saw children in the corner choreographing a dance, to the right older youth were teaching younger youth, and inside they were more children practicing. We learned that this is the first time the youth have ever put on a cultural performance and that they are really excited to present what they have created for their families and the community. Watching them all come together and work so hard on something that is clearly very important to them has truly been a very meaningful experience. While at times it has felt that nothing has happened since arriving here, this event has made it clear to us that our time here has, and is, being spent well.

Meet Mahendra Paswan

           In my village there are 10 volunteers, 5 national and 5 international. Each volunteer is working within 1 of the 5 thematic groups Tevel Btzedek focuses on: Youth, Education, Women, Agriculture, and Media.  There is one National and one International working in each theme. Meaning we are all working in partnerships. As I’m sure you all have figured out I am working in Youth. My partner is Mahendra Paswan. In order for you all to get a better picture of what my life looks like here in Nepal you need to get a better picture of who I work with everyday.

            Mahendra Paswan was born on Februrary 26^th 1987 in the village of Kamalpur. Kamalpur is in the district of Sirah which is located in the south eastern region of Nepal. This is a significantly different region then the one we are living in now. This is the region of the plains, also known as the Tari. The land is flat, the weather is hot, and air is thick. This is also where all the vegetables are grown which makes life quite easier..

His Parents, Julab Paswan and Manti Debu Oaswan, are hard working people who raised Mahendra along with his 4 siblings. His three sisters are all living within 80km of their home village and have all been married off. All three had arranged marriages and did not meet their husband to be until the day of their marriage. Mahendra’s younger brother is currently studying in Kathmandu to become an engineer. In Mahendra's village he is known as quite the success story. Most people do not leave the village let alone become a professional. Mahendra has not only left his village but has aquired a bachelors degree and is currently obtaining is second masters. 

Mahendra has pursed many forms of education. He began getting is BA at the Ramsagar Ramsawraup College where he received his degree in English and Sociology. He continues along this path by getting his masters in Sociology at the Tribuban University in Kathmandu. However while learning about human societies and realized he wanted to work with in the justice system. After he completed his MA he decided to continue his education and become a lawyer. He is currently enrolled at the Nepal Law Kathmandu Campus. Following his year with Tevel he wants to complete his degree and become a lawyer.

            Mahendra’s family belongs to the Dusadh Caste which is apart of the Dalit community. This is also know as the “untouchable” caste.  Mahendra explained to me that a long time ago this would have affected his family greatly however since the political changes in Nepal discrimination has diminished significantly and he feels he has relatively equal opportunity to the people who belong to higher castes.

            In Nepal there are 125 castes. Within these different communities there are 123 different languages. Mahendra speaks 5: Bhojpuri (which is the language of the Tari people in the mid western region of Nepal), Maithali (which is the language spoken in Mahendra’s home village), Nepali, Hindi, and English. When I first started working with Mahendra his English was hard for me to understand. However after working together for 4 months we have figured out a good communication system. I have learned to speak slower, and many times if I do not understand what Mahendra is saying he simply spells the word and it becomes clear that it is a simple pronunciation issue. Mahendra also asks me about different vocabulary which I help to define for him on a regular basis and he gives me different Nepali works that are important for me to learn.  We have a pretty good system going.

            He was raised as a Hindu however he does not believe in the practice of religion. While he believes in a higher supernatural power he believes that this spirit lives within all of us, not in one god. He believes that everyone is god.  He says that god lives within your heart, not in temples and not within the institution of religion. He doesn’t understand people who are blind supporters of God. He says that religion makes things black and white when things are much more complicated. While he has faith, his faith lies in human beings.      

            It has been a really rewarding experience working with Mahendra. I feel like we are constantly learning things about each other and our different upbringings.  It’s amazing that no matter how different our lives have been and will be that for this one year life has brought us together working towards the same mission. I think one of the most valuable things through out this whole experience will be having worked with Mahendra. This relationship allows us both to better understand the differences in the world and how to cooperate within circumstances that are foreign to both of us.

27. Thailand

     During the course of this year we have been given two 10 day vacations. It is crazy to think that we have come to our half way mark and the first vacation has already come and gone. For this first vacation I chose to treat myself to Thailand. Last year when I worked in China I unfortunately didn’t have the time to travel at the end of my contract. As I headed back to a cold New York winter, my coworkers were setting off to Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, and Thailand.  Since then I have I become fascinated and mildly obsessed with the idea of traveling through out South East Asia, with Thailand being at the top of this list. This past summer when I had decided to spend this year in Nepal I told myself that the two places that I wished to travel to were Thailand and India. During my time here it has become clear to me that India is not something you can do in 10 days and it also requires a visa which right now is quite difficult for me to obtain. However Thailand was in my reach and I decided that I deserved and needed the vacation. It would be my birthday present to myself.  A fellow volunteer and friend also had the idea to go to Thailand, and so the planning began.

            Now that Nevo and I had decided Thailand was where we were going to go, planning the trip was the next step. However while living in the village we have no internet which inhibited our ability to research and book things. Therefore we would have to wait for our 3 day seminar in Kathamndu, which was approximately three weeks before the trip, to do EVERYTHING. While living in America this might not have been a big deal, however, while living in the developing world I have learned that everything is more difficult and everything takes more time. 

            When we arrived in Kathmandu I immediately started trying to book our flights, however Internet kept cutting out and we had no electricity and my computer only had 50% batter life yet. Every time I would start the booking process a new problem would come up and I would have to start again.  Eventually my level of frustration elevated to the point that I decided to go to a café and do my work there. In the end booking our flights, something that would have taken 30 minutes in the states, took me 4 hours here.

            Then the hard part started, picking our destinations once we got there. We decided that we wanted to spend some time inland and some time on an island. After several hours of research we decided on Koh Sok National Park and Koh Samui. Both of these places are in the south and can be accessed by the same Hub, Surat Thani. Therefore our trip would look like this:

January 2^nd: Arrive in Bangkok

Janaury 3^rd: Spend the day in Bangkok, take night train down south to Surat Thani

January 4^th-January 7^th: Explore Koh Sok National Park

January 7^th: Leave Koh Sok and make our way to Koh Samui

January 7^th-10^th: enjoy the island of Koh Samui 

January 10^th: Go back to Surat Thani to take the night train back to Bangkok

January 11^th: Last minute shopping in Bangkok

January 12^th: Return to Nepal

With all of our plans in place we were able to go back to the village at ease and have an awesome vacation to look forward to.

And Awesome it was!!! Thailand is simply amazing. The weather is tropical, the people are friendly, the culture is interesting, and the food is tasty. On arriving in Bangkok Nevo and I felt the culture shock of being back in civilization and a significantly more developed society.  While sitting on the metro we observed everyone sitting in their seats with their nose in their phones. As we walked   Realizing how overwhelming it was we knew we had made the right the decision to escape the city the next day and spend the next ten days within the quite of nature and serenity of the beach.
through the streets there was shopping everywhere and food stalls which filled in every available piece of space.

           

So our Journey down south began by taking the night train from Bangkok to Surat Thani. This was quite the unique experience. As you walk down the train you see that everything is broken down into compartments. Each compartment has two chairs with a window. These two chairs can then convert into a bed. Then above the seats there is bed that folds down from the ceiling. Therefore once the transformation is complete you have bunk beds. Each bed comes with sheets, a blanket, a pillow, and a curtain to close yourself in.  Overall it is quite comfortable and an experience I would definitely recommend. Once we arrived in Surat Thani there were buses waiting to take people to their various destinations, including Koh Sok National Park.

            
The drive to the park was magnificent. The landscape is lush and tropical, and as we got closer to the park, huge lime stone mountains began to appear on either side of us.  When we arrived at our hotel we were greeted by this cheerful Thai man who was the human replica of the cartoon character Diego from the children’s show Dora the Explorer. He presented us with a list of things that we can do while staying here, most of the park you need a guide to go through for safety reasons. After deliberation we chose to do the lake tour the following day and then hike the trails ourselves on our second day.  However we still had half a day to explore, so we set out on a small hike to a nearby waterfall. On arriving we were disappointed to find out that the English translation of “waterfall” was mistaken and that in fact it was just a small pool with rapids. However we were surprised to run into friends of Nevo’s from Israel! It’s amazing how small a world we live in. After sitting with them for some time we made plans to meet up for dinner that evening. This being our first real dinner in Thailand I was excited to be with people who could recommend their favorite dishes. They had us order the Panang Curry, which is a sweet curry made from coconut cream, and it was delicious! I really enjoyed being outside of the volunteer group and interacting with new people. Overall it was a great start to our vacation!

            The following day we set out on the lake tour and were once again brought to the realization of how small of a world it is. While introducing ourselves to some of the other people in our group I came across an American couple that had been working in Australia with outward bound. A couple I had worked with in China was also working for Outward bound  in Australia so I dropped their names, and sure enough they were friends with them! We spent the remaining part of the tour enjoying their company and comparing stories. Besides the good company, the lake tour was also amazing. It was filled with huge limestone formations that took your breath away.

              On our last and final day in the park we enjoyed some leisurely hiking that led to beautiful pools where we were able to relax and enjoy being surrounded by the sounds of nature. After our time in the park, which mostly consisted of long days filled with activities, we were ready for the next part of our vacation, the beach! When we arrived to our hotel we were delighted to find out that it was located on a quiet beach away from all the tourists. The water was calm and bright blue, and the sand was white and pristine. All of my worries and stresses that I had had only a few days ago in Nepal had now drifted to the back of my mind.

On our first full day we decided that we wanted to rent a motor bike and explore the rest of the island. We decided that we would beach hop our way around the island and hit all the most recommended spots. When we drove through “the most popular” beach we were glad that we were nowhere near it. It was extremely congested with people and swarmed with tourists shopping and eating. Our highlight of the day was when we arrived at a bay on the south east side of the island. This bay was said to have the best view of the sunset, which could not have been more accurate. Both Nevo and I sat in silence for the 45 minutes it took for the sun to go down. It was mesmerizing.

The rest of the vacation flew by as quickly as the first  part had. I headed back to Bangkok sad we didn’t have more time. However at the same time I knew had our vacation been longer I would have grown detached from Nepal and it would have been harder to go back and readjust. 

Thailand is an amazing country that definitely needs more than 10 days to explore, but then again so does every country. It has become evermore clear to me that there will never be enough time to go everywhere and see everything. However at the same time the more places I go, instead of being in awe and mesmerized by each individual place, I am beginning to see the similarities. For instance when I first went to China I was fascinated with its subway system, however after going to Taiwan and Thailand I see that it may not be as original as I had once thought. While the east and west hemisphere’s of the world are drastically different, it is clear that through globalization that we are beginning to morph into one. I think it is important to recognize the unique qualities our cultures posses and hold on to them as much as possible. It will be sad day when the world has become so small that we  all are the same.