You know that dream people have
when they are standing in front of a big group of people for one reason or
another when all of sudden they realize they are naked and everyone starts
pointing and laughing? Well this is the dream I have everyday, except that it
is not a dream and I’m not naked. I am however constantly being stared and
laughed at. Why you ask? For anything and everything. Whether it’s because of
the way I look, the way I dress, the way I cook, the way I talk, everything I
do is funny to the Nepali people. Today it was how I did my laundry.
In the
Village where I live there is a communal tap, or the local watering hole if you
will, where everyone goes to wash. Whether it’s wash their clothes, their
dishes, or themselves this is where it happens. I’ve learned that there are
particular times of day to avoid using the tap, for instance in the morning
before school because it is when all the kids shower. I do this, one, because I
will have to wait on a huge line and, two, because it sets me up to be the local entertainment. However
today I had no other choice but to face this nightmare. Seeing that it is a
Monday in the middle of the afternoon I expected to have the tap all to myself
to do my laundry. To my surprise it was completely over crowded. Generally I
would have turned around and waited for another day however I was out of underwear
so this was laundry 911. Therefore I prepared myself for the circus ring,
however instead of sitting silently in the audience enjoying the show, I would
be the big goofy clown with the big nose and oversize shows standing front and
center.
As I approached the women the greeting ritual began:
“Nameste”
“Nameste”
“Nameste”
“Nameste”
“Nameste”
“Nameste”
I then looked around for a place to sit until it would be my
turn. This is also a confusing system that I have not figured out. It appears
that it is a first come first serve type of system however certain things trump
others. For instance if I am in the middle of doing my laundry and someone
comes and wants to fill their water tanks to bring back to their house then
they are allowed to cut me. It can take
up to 5 minutes to fill one of these tanks, so if 5 women come while you are
doing laundry then you can end up waiting half an hour even though technically you
were there first.
Eventually I saw an opening to throw my clothes under the
water. I washed out my bucket and began filling it with soapy water so I would
be able to my washing off to the side. As I moved out the way, the woman were
all staring at me with my bucket. As I moved off to the side to begin washing
the clothes the woman waited for me to begin. As I started they were all
hypnotized as if I was mystical creature, however soon enough their silence
turned to laughter, the show had begun. Each of them took turns coming over and
demonstrating the “right” way to wash clothing. I attempt to copy what they are
doing however clearly I am not copying them well enough because they continue
to laugh. I think to myself, “this must be what I dog feels like when it is
getting trained. And most likely a stupid dog.” As they got bored with my
incompetence they began talking amongst themselves. However the show was not over yet. When I
returned to the running water to rinse out my clothes women kept coming up
behind me and putting their bottles under the tap to fill while simultaneously
spraying water all of me. This got the crowd roaring. I am trying to laugh
along hoping that they are doing this by mistake and that we are all laughing
together about the misfortune of me getting sprayed with water, but my instinct
is saying that this is not the case. As I made my way back down to the house I
continue to debate with myself about the intensions behind their laughter.
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| Washing My Hair |
I do not
think they are meaning to embarrass me or make me feel uncomfortable. I am just
like no one they have ever seen before. Almost like an exotic zoo animal. I am
the first white person some of these people have ever met. That means up until
now they have never met anyone who looks different from themselves it really
forces me to reflect on where I come from and all the places I have been and
how rare it is to find a heterogeneous living environment. We have all heard
America’s nick name “the melting pot” but I am only now realizing how special
and unique that type of environment is.
While living in Europe this fact was less obvious to me, because while
each country was relatively homogeneous (aka Germans in Germany, Romanians in
Romania) they all looked somewhat like me (aka Caucasian). However these past
few years when I have lived in Grenada, China and Nepal, I am constantly surrounded
by people who look nothing like me, which makes it all the more obvious that I
am the outsider.
Now I am
the first person to complain about New York City. It’s to expensive, to
crowded, to cold, to busy, to lonely, etc. But when it comes to it’s diversity,
it’s culture, and it’s vibrancy, it definitely has to be one of the most
amazing cities in the world. No one stands out because no one looks a like. While
walking through the streets you are have every right to be there. No ones an
insider and no one’s an outsider, each person is their own. While it is not the
city for me, sometimes you have to admit the ability to blend in and be
invisible can be gift.
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