And So the End Becomes the Beginning

    While I begin this new journey it's hard not to reflect on the old adventures of these past two years. I remember how only one year ago when I returned from the Peace Corps it felt like my life was over. I had worked so hard for one thing for so long that it seemed impossible to begin again.  However on reflecting on my experience in Grenada it hard to ignore how much easier being here in Israel is. While I was in Grenada I continuously found myself questioning why I was there and questioning whether it had been the right choice for me. However being here with this group I finally feel that I'm in the right place, at the right time, with the right people. And so maybe the end was really just the beginning. 

     I have been in Israel for just over three weeks now.  I have completed the first section of our orientation and am now enjoying the holiday with my host family. Overall I was very impressed with our orientation. Our training was divided into three parts in which we stayed at different ecological farms in Israel. Each location was practicing sustainable living techniques and doing everything they can to reuse, reduce and recycle their waste. It was a great introduction to how we will be living in Nepal.

     During our training sessions we had the opportunity to meet with many professionals in the field of development. Each person gave a unique perspective and provided us with different tools to use when we begin our work. While many of our lectures were based on theory we were also given practical skills, such as how to make mud bricks, Stoves, and turn waste into art. 

This past month has also been spent getting to know my fellow volunteers. The group is comprised of three Israeli’s, two European’s, and five America’s.  I am extremely impressed by all the people selected to be apart of this team. It is humbling to be apart of such a diverse, experienced, and intelligent group; with each person having a unique story to tell.  I feel that this group has the passion and motivation to be successful this upcoming year and I am excited to be going on this adventure with them.

     During my last week in Israel I will be spending time with the friends and family I made while living here two years ago.  Everyone has been so welcoming and hospitable. I feel blessed to have met such wonderful people through my travels. If I can say one this about these last two years I can say that I have made family all over the world, whether its Yavett in Grenada, or Karin and Shaul in Israel I know I always have a place to go. 

With only four more days until I leave for Nepal I plan to spend this week relaxing, enjoying the holiday,  and relishing in the fact that I still have internet, electricity, running water, and most importantly and toilet paper.  

One year Later...

So we are fast forwarding one year to today, September 13, 2013, to the next new thing. As you can guess the Peace Corps did not work out. It was a long dragged out process that was painful and overall changed the way I think about the organization. However the experience changed my life and has led me to where I am now. But before we get to today let me catch you up on the last year.

            After I was medically separated from the Peace Corps last summer I was unsure of I what to do next. I didn’t know what type of job to apply for, what city to live in, and how to move on. So in order to delay time for a little longer I took a job with Dragonfly Limited, an outdoor recreation company that works with international schools in Hong Kong.  I had the opportunity to work in Yangshoa China,  a small town known for it’s limestone mountains which climbers come from around the world to experience.

Overall it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that allowed me to meet people from a variety of countries who are living very alternative lifestyles. It was a wonderful way to learn that there is no “right” way to live as long as you are happy. I utilized the time to think about what would make me happy and what I would do when I got home. Overall I came to the conclusion that I needed to find closure with the Peace Corps and then look for another way to go abroad to work in international development.

            I was able to find closure by returning to Grenada when my contract with Dragonfly was complete. Returning to Grenada allowed me to say goodbye to my host family, my fellow volunteers, and the man I had fallen for.  It also allowed me to see that it was no longer the right place for me, and it was time to move on.

            When I returned from Grenada I got a job with Masa Israel Journey which allowed me to explore my options in the Jewish professional world. More importantly, it also allowed me to move out of my house.  I found a room in Astoria, Queens living in an apartment with two very nice Philipino Boys.  The fact that they are Filipino is irrelevant except for the fact that my apartment had not 1, not 2, not 3 but 4 rice cookers! It is important to mention that they were not all the same! They ranged from small to big which allowed you to make anywhere from 1-10 servings of rice. While the apartment was small, dirty, and smelled a little funny it was something I could call my own.

The goal I had set for myself was to be abroad by summer. This gave me 6 months to find what I was looking for.  While working at a Masa I had the opportunity to meet a lot of interesting people who were very enthusiastic in helping me find a new abroad experience. I learned that if you talk about something enough eventually you will talk to the right person who will point you in the right direction.  This became true for me when a colleague at work began e-mail me different abroad opportunities.  While all of them were very interesting none of them felt right until she sent me a link to Tevel Btzedek. http://www.tevelbtzedek.org/.

Tevel was exactly what I had been looking for. It was a small organization that was looking for devoted, motivated people to do development in Nepal.  I felt that they had a wonderful philosophy and would be investing as much into me as I would be into them, something I did not feel while working for the Peace Corps. I therefore began the application process, which led to an interview, which led to a second interview, which finally led to me being accepted!  And this is how I got here  today, aka in a small room at my friends house on Kibbutz Neot Mordechai in the Northern Region of Israel.

I have come to Israel where I will be completing my first month of training, which will be followed by a second month of training in Katmandu, Nepal. After training I will be moving to a small village 7 hours south of the capital where I will spend the next 9 months. During this year I hope to increase my knowledge about third world development, learn about a new and interesting culture, and continue to grow and get to know myself in way no other experience can allow for.  To all my friends and family who have been there for me this past year, you all know there have been a lot of highs and lows. I could not have gotten through it with out you and I hope you all enjoy going on this journey with me.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

*Thunder*

Nate (Juliet’s  friend):  Doesn’t thunder sound like Voldemort talking?

Juliet: I wish everything in the world was beautiful. I wish everything in the world was pink.

Juliet (looking through a picture book of the ABC’s): I is for Ice Cream, J is is Jelly bean, L is for Tiger

Juliet: soooo what do you want to talk about?

Me: I don’t know,  what would you like to talk about?

Juliet: hmmmm what about poop coming out of our bodies?

Me: How about rainbows?

Juliet: OK!

Nate: Imagine if rain had feet

Me: So when it fell to the ground would it walk away?

Nate: yep!

Me: Where would it go?

Nate: Africa.

Nanny Nightmare

I have now been watching Juliet for 4 weeks, and so far it’s been smooth sailing.  Juliet has been listening to me, doesn’t complain, doesn’t run off, and as of today has never even cried!  While I knew this couldn’t last forever, I could not possible have been prepared for what I was about to experience, a public tenter tantrum.

We’ve all been the spectators of these humiliating experiences. Maybe you’re walking down isle 9 in the super market and there’s a child screaming at his mom that he wants to buy every candy bar on the shelf.  You walk past, trying not to stare, and think “that sucks”, but what you should be thinking is “what am I going to do when that happens to me!” because let me tell you one day it will and it is as awful and embarrassing as it looks.

There we were sitting on the corner of 76^th and Amsterdam, enjoying our ice cream we had just gotten from 16 handles. We had had a long day but still had one more thing on our agenda, art class. When Juliet was done with her ice cream I stood up and said “ok let’s start heading over to art class.” When Juliet said “no, I want to go home.” I looked at her confused, and said “what do you mean, you love art class! We’re going to be late so let’s start walking over.” Next thing I know she’s crying and jumping and screaming. Obviously at this point all I wanted to do was take her home in order to have all the people stop staring at me like I was a kidnapping this child. However while that was what I wanted to do I also didn’t want to reward such outrageous behavior by giving her what she wanted; one of my many parenting tips I’ve picked up.  All I could think of was to sit and try and wait for her to calm down. I wasn’t about to start yelling at her in the middle of the street, and she was acting like a crazy person so I couldn’t talk to her.  To make a long story short, she never calmed down, I had to call her mom, and ended up taking her home.

So next time you see a mother/father/babysitter dealing with an unreasonable screaming child in a public space know that it is as embarrassing at it looks, and that one day it will probably be you, so have some empathy 

Nanny Diaries: Entry 1

So I have been working as a nanny on the upper west side of Manhattan for several weeks now. The Job I accepted is with a nice family with two children: Juliet who is 4, and Matthew who is 6. While this is absolutely not what I saw myself doing, or rather want to be doing, the job has worked out quite nicely and will be over in September.  

Juliet and Matthew

Thus far Matthew has had camp so I have only had Juliet. She has taken a while to warm up to me but her and I are getting along just fine. She’s funny, extremely easy going, and loves to read.  Our days consist of play dates, hours at the parks, and various classes like swimming, gymnastics, yoga, and art. They live right off the park near all the museums so it is an ideal location for optimal entertainment. 

My eye is still recovering, however I am fully functional and for the most part I am not bothered by it. The only time that I have difficulty is in the light, and then I just put on my very fashionable geriatric sunglasses. They were given to me by my doctors and they fit over my glasses and wrap around my head. They are quite ridiculous, but obviously I can pull them off.  

It’s frustrating when people are constantly asking me how I am doing because I know they want me to say “I’m doing a lot better thank you, my eye is fully healed and my life is back on track!” and all I want to say to them is if that’s the answer you’re looking for then don’t bother asking. But honestly who would be ok after something like this. In a matter of 3 days I, 1.went blind 2.was taken away from my new home without so much as being able to say goodbye 3.Lost the only thing I’ve ever worked for, aka the Peace Corps 4.and am now a nanny working for the complete opposite demographic. How the fuck would you be doing? And while this might sound like I’m looking for a pitty party, that is not it at all. I want people to be able to laugh about it, because I really just want this whole situation to be behind me and be a funny story, because really my life sounds like the punch line to a bad joke

I don’t know how long it’s supposed to take for one to get over something like this, and while my intension is still to try to go get medically cleared to go back to the peace corps, I go back and forth about whether it is still the right thing to do at this point, or if it’s just the only plan I’ve ever had and I’m too scared to start over and come up with a new one.

While it is my intension to go back to the Peace Corps, I’m not an idiot and want to have all my bases covered. I’ve applied to a few jobs in the fall, all abroad and several of which are seasonal which would enable me to have something to do during these next few months but not close the doors on going back to the Peace Corps if that is really want I want to do. 

Peace Corps Blog Turned Nanny Diaries

I have officially been medically separated from the Peace Corps. While my eye is doing 1000 times better then it was, it is still in the recovery process and the PC decided that it was in my best interest to have 4-6 months for my health to stabilize. With that being said, even when the healing process is complete my eye will never be the same. I will never have the same vision as I once had, and it may not get better then what it is now. Currently, while i can see things out of my, it is like looking through a fogy window. Things are hazy and blend together. The reason for this is because I am looking through the scar that was once my ulcer. Depending on your much the scar fades will determine how much clearer my vision gets. This can take up to 6 months. In the end I think separating me was the right decision, and now I can be monitored by my doctors and focus on getting better. As of right now my plan is to return as soon as I can, which is the beginning of October. However a lot can change in 4 months and I'm keeping my options open.
SO in the mean time I have been looking for work. However my ability to get places has been extremely restricted. First, I don't have a car. Second, up until 5 days ago I wasn't aloud to drive. Under the orders of my parents I was instructed to take a driving lesson to make sure that I was still able to drive with the same ability as before. I called a first time driving school and scheduled a lesson. My instructor was a woman name Neirtha and she loves Wendy's! Every time we drove past a Wendy's she was scream "oh I love that Wendy!" Until finally I asked her if she was hungry and wanted to stop and grab something. She was delightfully surprised by my offer and had me pull into the next drive through. She shared her fries with me, so I liked her.  While the driving issue was resolved I still do not have a car, so being able to get to my new hypothetical job posed a problem. It was a definite reality check coming back home and once again living in the new jersey suburbs having to rely on a car.
It wasn't until my father suggested that I look for nanny jobs in NYC that I had a direction. I began talking to people about becoming a nanny and I learned that there is a whole online system, kind of like Craigs List but only for child care workers and families looking. I was pointed in the direction of two websites and began the process. With in 1 weeks I was scheduling interviews back to back and beginning to have a lot of options. I began to see the Upper West/East Side life of New York City that I'd only seen in movies, such as Uptown Girls or Nanny Diaries. I figured if Brittany Murphy could do it, so could I! I began interviewing with families and seeing the different dynamics. There were the families that had door mans, live in house keepers, and nanny's to cater to their multiple children and escort them all around the city. There were the families that lived in the Hampton s for the summer. There were working moms, and stay at home moms, moms that alphabetized their  children books, and moms that has their kids scheduled for 3 classes a day from water aerobics to art class to basketball. 
In the end I was accepted a job that was offered to me by a nice family living on the upper west side. The mother and I got along really well and seemed to be on the same page. Her and her husband have two kids: Julliet, whose 4, and Mathew, whose 6. The commute is about 45 minutes and involves me taking a bus and two trains. I have been soliciting all my friends that live up town or off the C train for week day sleepovers. While I'm really excited to start being busy again I'm also a little scared. For my first two days of work I accompanied Claudine, the mother, for their daily activities in order to get accustomed to their schedules. I began to realize just how different growing up in the city is and how so many more accidents can happen. I also observed other families and watched kids publicly yelling at their moms and/or nanny's and realized that soon that will be me yelling "STOP!" and "NO!" in crowded public spaces. I've listed to mothers tell stories about their children having to poop behind bushes in the park, because they couldn't get to a bathroom soon enough. I've been to swim lessons and art class and am slowly learning the ropes but I can't help think that I'm in over my head. 
Tomorrow is my first official day. Lets hope everyone makes it through the day! 

'Eye Eye' Captain!

So it’s been about a month since I’ve written and a lot has happened, a major thing being that my computer crashed, hence the reason I haven’t written. But for a quick overview things have been pretty awesome. My work sites have been working out I love all my counterparts and I’m really excited to change over to NTA. I started 1 day a week there last week and it was wonderful.  I’ve also started a collection of activities to keep myself busy, which have all come together really nicely. First I went on my first Hash 2 weeks ago, which I love! Hashing is basically a quick hike through the bush and then a social after. It has a big rugby following which is pretty awesome and has a very similar vibe. You get a hasher name, you exercise, and you party. Basically it’s the same thing. I also Joined the SSU boot camp. About 10 minutes from my house is the Special Security Unit (SSU) army base. Through the ministry of health they started this boot camp program which means that the base holds work out classes every day at 5. I went to my first class last Monday and it was great! It’s broken down into beginner, intermediate, and advanced, so you can chose how hard you want to work yourself. Then on days off they do hikes and hashes. They did a hash to Hog island last week that I went on. Everyone was really nice and welcoming. My landlord also goes in addition to another teacher from my school attachment. It’s a good way to have my face seen and meet people. I also started taking this stain glass window making class which is awesome!!! And guitar lessons are coming along. Basically things have been working out pretty well until some recent unfortunate events…

At this moment I am sitting in New Jersey, with an eye patch on, squinting at the computer as I try to tell this story. It all happened very fast, but the story starts last Friday.  I went to work as usual but at around 10am my eyes started becoming very bothered by the light. I was straining to keep them opened and becoming very tired. I eventually asked to go home early, assuming I had put my contacts in the wrong eye or they were just being weird. I took out my lenses and passed out. When I woke up 2 hours it was time to get ready to head into town, because I was meeting the other volunteers at the other end of the island to go turtle watching.  I put in a fresh pair of lenses and headed on my way. I had no problems throughout the two hour bus ride to Sauters however almost immediately upon exiting the bus my eye began tearing and had turned red. When all the volunteers saw the situation they all began making jokes of pink eye, as most would do when they see a pink irritated eye. At this point I didn’t think it was anything serious so I took ym contact lenses out, put on my glasses, and began the 30 minute hike to the secluded beach we would spend the night.

Upon reaching the beach we began setting up our tents. The irritation in my eye aws coming in waves. The reoccurring discomfort was making me nervous so I thought it was best to call Jeremy, our Peace corps Medical Officer (PCMO) and let him know that something was up. Based on my symptoms Jeremy was not concerned and reassuered me that he’d call me the next day and we’d go from there. At this point I was relieved and remained excited about the possibilitiy of seeing a turtle that evening. However only hours later, my eye swelled shut, and I began to feel extreme amounts of pain. Granted the environment I was in was not ideal, being surrounded by sand and all.

Making it to morning was definitely a struggle, but as soon as I heard stirring around from the other tents I got up and informed another volunteer, Jack, that I needed to go to the hospital. She immediately took action in finding me a ride. AS everything began to come together we realized that we still had to figure out a way to hike me back through the bush unable to see. At this point I had a sweatshirt wrapped around my head to block the sun light out, and basically looked like a drunk mummy. As my friends guided me out of the bush we were met at the other end by the wonderful man who would drive me to the hospital.

My experience at the hospital was a quick one  a Dr. Avichi saw me and concluded that I had a bad case of conjunctivitis, aka pink eye, so he prescribed me a steroid/antibiotic drop and sent me on my way. AS the pain subsided I began to feel relieved, however it was not until the next day when I lost all vision in my left eye that I began to freak out.  From this point things began to move very quickly. I saw an optomologist on Monday who corrected my first diagnosis and said that I had an Ulcerated Cornea. I was prescribed new drops and sent home.

That white circle is a hole directly over my cornea.
aka it's not suppose to be there 

As this new information began to  spread to Jeremy, my parents, and eventually DC, it took only a matter of hours for them to decide to medically evacuate me from Grenada. I was a flight first thing the next morning, final destination DC.

My experience in the airports was a mixture of publicly laughing and crying to myself.

Moment I laughed: walking into a pole in the middle of the cafeteria in the San Juan airport while wearing an eye patch.

Moment I cried: having to emergency land in the Bahamas on our way to Miami because the Miami airport had been shut down for weather conditions. 

Moment I laughed: being put in a wheel chair after my flight to DC and being brought to my baggage like an actual disabled person.

Times I cried: being put in a wheel chair after my flight to DC and being brought to my baggage like an actual disabled person.

Moment I laughed: Walking into the men’s bathroom

Moment I cried: running to my gate in Miami and being told I was not on the flight.

aka an emotional roller costar. Also known as the story of my life. 

As soon as I got to DC I began seeing doctors. The doctor in DC sent me to John Hopkins. From there I will be referred to someone in NY and from there I will be flying to Miami to see a specialist who does special amniotic graphs for this specific problem.  Conclusion being: I WILL GET BETTER!  AND I WILL BE GOING BACK TO GRENADA!